OurLadyJ

September 11, 2006

6:38am sleep eludes me

had to google “sleep eludes me”

711 hits, most of them blogs

i’m not so original

remind me to never put that into a lyric

kept waking up last night with lyrics in my dreams

actually wrote them down

most of them

what the hell, may as well profit off my dreams

not many lately

not at all like during an awakening

just dreaming casually

the universe is giving me a break

hah… my mind being “the universe”

how oprah

omg. barbra is blogging! go to http://barbrastreisand.com/statements.html

gorgeous!

the creepy crawlers

the 9.11 opportunists are at it again

every anniversary

they want to sell us their coins, their movies, their fear

i remember in jr high

the gulf war

we collected persian gulf trading cards

norman schwarzkopf took michael jordan’s place

as our hero

i was eleven

and i saw war the same way that i saw anything else on tv

big, exciting, new, distant, a must-have commodity

and now i’m thinking- this is what they all see

this is how he got them to follow

pattie

ben’s laughter is ringing in my head…

patti was brilliant in gypsy- the bootleg, the dishes, the Halston dress

but what the f* is this pic???

love it! (with an over-pronounced “t”)

the view

rosie’s first day on the view

we watched from the conference room

and laughed

and were very proud

this job has been a god-send

sharing what i know about what i love

teaching music to the future of nyc

and the lady who’s name we work under

happens to be america’s voice from the queer community

amazing

child, it’s early

i’m looking out a window at my neighborhood coffee shop, and i see a poster potraying what appears to be the apocolypse. it’s hanging on the side of the out-of-place “inglesia adventista del 7 dia”: the same denomination of church that my god-child used to attend. His mother- my childhood friend- stopped him from going when she found out that they were preaching anti-gay sermons to two year olds. And now my god-child proudly calls me his god-madre.

if i allow myself to be sappy, i might hear my maternal clock ticking… my man-made, self-induced, sythentic-yet-sincere, optional-yet-mandatory Womanhood is peeking through the curtains of every window i pass

chatting

i can’t believe the time i’ve spent online recently. i think i’ve been completely disconnected from the information age by not having hi-speed internet. but now, i’m chatting away in tranny chatrooms, getting to know people in the middle of america. it’s always been a terrifying experience to leave new york, but if i’m going to go to arkansas, wifi seems like a pretty safe way to get there. one click and i’m back in brooklyn.

perhaps this sudden update in technology is an acceptance of living in 2006. i often pretend that i’m living either as a navajo shaman in pre-columbus times or that i’m in the distant future as a transexual alien who is visiting the earth to collect data from the baby-making people. but it’s hard for me to accept that life is as simple as replying to emails. paying bills. making art. cursing political leaders. teaching kids. painting my apartment. getting my teeth fixed. switching genders. leaving brooklyn through yahoo.