OurLadyJ

come on, girls

tonight, @ dinner with justin glenn and nathan.

but before dinner, glenn and i went to gmhc

to watch a practice round of the very competitive vogue-ing balls.

unfortunately, the evening was cut short because of a fight…

… which continued outside.

and the next thing you know

i saw a tranny with her hair in one hand and a knife in another.

and then others took knives and hammers out of their bags

and beat the shit out of each other.

weaves were flying in the air down 7th avenue.

ok… as much as i love the idea of tranny knife-fighting madness,

the reality of it isn’t that cute.

come on, girls. we have enough going against us in the world as it is.

we don’t need to turn on each other.

isn’t the point of ballroom culture to get out our aggressions in a constructive way?

leave your knives at home, where they belong

(next to your bed- to ward off your tricks who won’t go home.)

just don’t bring them to the balls!!!

jesus was a tranny

Jesus saw some babies nursing.

He said to his disciples, “These nursing babies are like those who enter the kingdom.”

They said to him, “Then shall we enter the kingdom as babies?”

Jesus said to them, “When you make the two into one,

and when you make the inner like the outer and the outer like the inner,

and the upper like the lower,

and when you make male and female into a single one,

so that the male will not be male nor the female be female,

when you make eyes in place of an eye,

a hand in place of a hand,

a foot in place of a foot,

an image in place of an image,

then you will enter [the kingdom].”
His disciples said to [Jesus],

“When will the rest for the dead take place, and when will the new world come?”

He said to them, “What you are looking forward to has come, but you don’t know it.”

summer dresses

so, i swore that i’d never wear a dress

thinking i’d look like a man in a dress

(an obvious insecurity of mine

resulting in an unfortunate judgment of others).

but as i’ve crossed the gender boundaries

i’ve become more and more comfortable

with accepting people in whatever the hell they feel like wearing
resulting in me wearing whatever the hell i feel like wearing

and in this weather, thank god.

i now LOVE dresses!

one glamourous group

the cast of Mayqueen

as presented by Queer Up North

May 23rd, 2008

Manchester, UK

(L-R)

Taylor Mac, Nathan Carrera, Our Lady J, Bitch, Johnny Woo

Justin Bond, David Hoyle

psalm

last night, while performing with the gay men’s chorus

i tilted back my head

during the debut of my newest composition ‘psalm’

and i disappeared

along with the original lyrics of the song.

but out came even more beautiful lyrics

lyrics i had never heard nor rehearsed before,

and i was reminded how exhilarating it feels

to channel.

whatever it was, it was powerful

and it left me blessed.

where it all began

I was 4 years old when I first put on lipstick. It was my brother’s idea. Well, the makeup was my idea, but the game was his. He wanted to play GI Joe (as usual) and thought we should dress up for the parts- he was always Cobra, and I, Mr. Joe. So we went for our mother’s makeup bag and found what seemed to be appropriate colors. He took the blue eye shadows and I took the brown blushes and maroon lipstick. It was a sample tube, probably from the Avon lady… we were poor and she was thrifty.

By the time we were done putting on our costumes, our faces were completely made over with the sloppy war paint, except for my perfectly painted maroon lips. We giggled at how much fun we were having until our dad came into the bathroom with the most horrified look on his face.

If I were to let my eyebrows grow out, my brow line would look exactly like my father’s- hugely pronounced and completely terrifying when provoked. It was his secret weapon for scaring small children to tears and driving us to do what he wanted us to do. “Your mother is going to be so mad!” He deflected his own horror, written on the brow. I believe he was genuinely worried that we had ruined her good makeup, but only moments later he was lecturing about the woe’s of boys wearing makeup. He went on and on, scrubbing the war paint away with a wet washcloth and no makeup remover (now, really).

Obviously, it was all downhill from there.

difficult people

—–

my boss sneared at me this morning while i was putting lipstick on:

‘i think you already have enough on’…

i had not a drop on, as i had just finished my coffee.

she would never have said this to a co-worker who was born female.

—–

perhaps our bosses seem difficult sometimes.

they probably think that they are doing a good deed

simply by employing a trans-person.

but i don’t believe it’s too much to ask

to be respected on top of being employed.

—–

i would expect an employer to tolerate, if not understand

the difficulties in transitioning,

such as adjusting to the amount of makeup to wear or not wear,

the way to dress,

the courage that it takes to stand in front of hundreds of public school children

and go on with the show- teaching.

i would expect this, but i haven’t found this.

even in 2008, in nyc, in an arts education program

there is a hostility.

—–

disappointing, to say the least.

—–