OurLadyJ

violence

how can i ignore the words of my brother

violent or not

he is in the war, and i am not

today, i chatted with him on AIM

in iraq

i’m in my luxury office space in times square

he’s in the sand with a gun in his hand

and he says he’s ready to confront the bad guys

if they obey = jail

if not = death

what am i to say

except that i love him and i wish him safety

we listen to the same music

we have the same drive

the blame of the war is not so easy to distribute

they are trying to kill him

but it is our father, the gov, who poises him against the enemy

what do i expect

but violence

as his only choice for survival.

disobedience = death

can i blame him?

i want to be so far away from what i’m feeling right now.

remembering

from my brooklyn apartment, i can see the lights

honoring the towers

and i remember the fall

how the clean air turned into a burnt electrical odor

filling my apartment with smoke

and i wondered- like the rest of the world-

what was going to happen next

i had no idea that, while leaving town on a musical tour,

i would watch america heal with a stone in it’s heart

that from town to town, i would encounter the same quizzical sympathy

“you’re from new york?… what was it like?… aren’t you afraid?…”

and then they demanded the war- before nyc even had a moment to breath- it was coming

and it didn’t matter with whom…

strange

it’s a different war

when you can lift a combat photo from your brother’s facebook account-
full internet access for the troops

means lol, brb, and aren’t that far away from the field.

it’s a very strange sensation

letting go of a sibling

to do something you find appalling.

the appalled lifts into complacency

and the letting go turns into denying the possibilities.
it was easier to resist the war

when i didn’t have direct communication with one of it’s members.

sharing dna can have a peculiar effect on one’s heart

bible lies through scripture sizes

i despise the offenses

measured in light years, a holy nonsense

once ignored (when the money flowed)

and now, rejuvenated by a (fiercely) frightened nation.

until today is read about in tomorrow’s papers,

no need to worry about the weight of it all.

i’m not (eek not) afraid of your imagination (cah cah cried the fat bird)

because his imagination is mine (without the lines, of course).

completely ridic’, non-smit’

i sit on an angered spoil-some

(a hollerin’ me, transported back to the times when i remained calm)

screaming: bring back my brothers, from the lock of learned legislation

from the archer’s fool- targeting the offspring of ancient hate

soothe them back to the bathtub we once shared (our mother perhaps, too)

there is so much to despise, these offenses

measured in light years… holy what-even-now

ready for flight (a fight? a flight-fight?)

little bro

brother brother war wrother

bother bar war brother

raw rabid rother rotter

another war other brother

brother war war brother

brother brother brother, love